25 Interesting Facts…about ME!!!

Since it’s my birthday today and I’m turning 25, I’m going to share 25 interesting facts about myself! I borrowed this idea for a post from a friend of mine, Michelle, whose blog you can check out here. She posts neat things about her travels in Europe and you should definitely take a look.

Without further ado, here are 25 interesting facts about yours truly:

1. I don’t have a middle name, but my brothers each have two.
2. Three years ago I graduated from Western University on my sister’s birthday and this June I will graduate from Queen’s University on my sister’s birthday.
3. In 2015 my call to the bar might also take place on my sister’s birthday (sorry Sarah).
4. Today I finished 7 years of postsecondary education by writing my last exam on my birthday.
5. That’s 20 years of full-time school!
6. Once I saved up all my money to go skydiving. It cost about $500 and I was working at Yogen Fruz. It took me a long time to save that money.
7. Sometimes I regret not working harder. Other times I regret not having more fun.
8. Some of the people I most admire are also my closest friends.
9. My grandma, my brother and I each hit a deer with our cars on three separate occasions, but when I hit the deer it didn’t hurt the car (you can think about that).
10. My white chocolate raspberry cheesecake is the best thing ever and I love making it for people.
11. Public speaking doesn’t make me nervous anymore. I took drama all four years of high school and my hands and voice used to shake every time I got on stage. This year I competed in a national mooting competition and coordinated the pro bono law program at my school. I was fine!
12. When I first decided to go to law school a lot of people told me I couldn’t do it.
13. Now, after living on my own in the same apartment for three years with one toilet, I’m basically a plumber.
14. Everyone knows about my chocolate addiction. I took a seminar course this year where participation counted for 35% of the final grade. I hardly participated at all, but one day we were rewarded with chocolate coins every time we spoke in class. By far and away I earned the most chocolate coins.
15. I LOVED climbing trees as a kid. If we hadn’t moved to a place with no trees, I’d probably still be climbing them today.
16. I collected beanie babies for a really long time. I thought they were going to increase in value and that I’d get a lot of money selling them. At some point I gave them away for free to a family friend.
17. My dad once made me a bookcase that went from the floor to the ceiling. I thought it was the best thing ever and I went to a huge effort to fill it with books, which I organized by author and genre. Now the bookcase is too small for all my books and I keep a lot of them in my bedroom closet and in cardboard boxes.
18. A long time ago I got drunk with a really good friend. We made banana boats and did yoga on her parent’s new shag carpet. When her parents got home we pretended to be sober because all her little cousins were there. I couldn’t even walk, but we had to clean the kitchen anyway.
19. In high school my best friend was completely overdramatic about everything. She never liked being recognized. We would go out for coffee in this tiny little town  where everybody knew her, but we would wear huge sunglasses and always hide behind walls and buildings whenever we saw someone who might talk to us.
20. I ran a stop sign and failed my first driving test.
21. I failed the second when I missed a pedestrian crosswalk.
22. When I finally passed it was because my dad flirted with the driving instructor while I was waiting in the car. She felt sorry for arriving so late.
23. I always wear slippers or socks inside because I hate feeling the floor on my bare feet.
24. I love, love,  love stargazing.
25. In the seventh grade I won the Lawson Literary Award. That was probably the proudest moment of my life. I’d like to say getting into law school made me proud, or getting my first law job, but those times I was just sort of shellshocked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daily Inspiration

Pork Chop

I never mind being treated like a piece of meat as long as it’s a ribeye steak; but when I get demoted to pork chop, I assert my personhood.

Tinder and Self-Acceptance

When I showed up to school in the first grade there were six girls in my class including me. Most of them had blond hair and real earrings (I still wore clip-ons) and they played hockey together. I thought, “great, these girls can be my friends!” Unfortunately, those girls didn’t want to be my friends. It was tough and I felt lonely a lot of the time, but I knew that one day I would go to high school and my ears would be pierced and maybe I’d meet some girls who didn’t play hockey.

Eventually I graduated and started high school and pierced my ears and in the tenth grade I met The One (while we were writing the literacy test  and he asked for a piece of my gum). He didn’t feel the same way about me, but that was OK because everybody knows girls mature much more quickly than boys. I was also really shy and I truly believed that once he got to know me better he would see that I was kind and interesting and smart and he’d like me too. Things didn’t progress as planned and five years later we had the “Just Friends” talk.

I met a new person later while traveling, but he lived on another continent. One time in law school I picked up at Shabbat dinner, but that guy was also seeing another girl in my contracts class. More recently I’ve been sister-zoned by someone I really like, which must be worse than the friend zone because no matter how drunk you are, you can never ever have sex with your sisters.

They say that dating is a numbers game. Where I live it’s kind of a small pond, but I decided to give Tinder a try regardless. The premise behind Tinder is that attractive people like to date attractive people, so you right-swipe the lookers and left-swipe everyone else. If you right-swipe someone who right-swipes you, you can message each other. I’d been swiping for about ten minutes (no matches) when I came across sisterboy’s profile (small pond, like I said).

Comparing our profiles, I was struck with the realization that he is so much more attractive than I am and I realized how silly I was to let myself think that I might ever have had a chance because I am definitely not in the snack bracket. And then I realized that although it’s not the point of Tinder, learning where you fit in in on the hierarchy of attraction is one of its effects. I realized that I might be about to learn that while I’d been going around all this time thinking myself an 8, I might really be just a 6, and maybe that was even stretching it…

I wasn’t ready for that level of self-knowledge so I deleted Tinder and went to bed (aka cried myself to sleep).

When my head cleared a little I started thinking… you know those times when you’re at the bar and you meet someone who really wants to take you home, but you don’t want to go home with that person, and it’s not because  you met at a bar, but it’s because you know you don’t want to sleep with him (or her)?

I’ve definitely been in that position before and it’s funny because even though the lighting is never great at a bar and it’s usually loud and I’m often drunk, I can still make that judgment call about whether or not I’d be interested in a person sexually, without thinking, “well maybe if he had a tan, or better hair, or new shoes…”

So that whole line of thought got me to where I am now, which is here: I recently bought the new Naked 3 eyeshadow palette from Urban Decay. I previously used Mac makeup, which is much thinner and easier to apply. I watched seven make-up tutorials and I worked really hard trying to get the hang of this new colour palette. I ended up with so many triangles on my face (albeit very well-blended triangles) that anyone would guess I was doing trig.

Now, if a drunk person can decide in a dark, noisy bar, that he doesn’t want to sleep with me now or ever, what’s the point in investing in expensive make-up? The whole intention of buying expensive make-up and learning how to apply it properly is that it’s supposed to boost my level of attractiveness and make me more socially palatable, just like the pierced ears in grade school.

One of these days when I’m feeling especially resilient, I’m going to give Tinder another try. And I’m going to find out who I am and where I stand and I’ll adjust my expectations accordingly. And I won’t ever be surprised or disappointed again. And I won’t need to buy self-help manuals,  or start therapy, or buy a positive-thoughts journal, or invest in any of those things that our society has invented to merchandise to people like me.  I’ll finally accept that I have this basic level of social desirability and that being not-quite-good-enough is an immutable characteristic that I’ll always possess regardless of my earrings and make up.

Not inconsistent with anything I’ve just said,  I am moving to Toronto in July and I’m ready to have an important relationship. Even if I am less desirable than initially supposed, I still have a lot to offer and I believe I am capable of finding this healthy relationship that’s going to make me really happy.

I learned through practising yoga for many many years that when we want to invite good things into our lives (like relationships), we need to think about them in a positive way. I have also learned through growing up in Canada that consumerism can solve *almost* any problem. Right now I have a small twin-size bed that’s big enough for me. It fits neatly between three separate walls in my bachelor apartment and violates every principle of feng shui. Needless to say, it’s not very welcoming. So, I’m buying a new bed! Wish me luck in love, friends.

Busy Bees

I have been busy lately. I competed in a national moot (law school competition) earlier this month. Things haven’t slowed down since getting back in routine. I got sick, I interviewed for an articling position, I’ve been working at my part-time job, exams are right around the corner, and law prom is tomorrow.

Despite all this, I have been trying very hard to keep the phrase “too busy” out of my vocabulary.

Law students in general tend to be very busy and I have learned over the past three years that most people are  understanding of this. Particularly my friends and family who aren’t in law. Hence, it becomes incredibly easy to exploit the ‘busy’ card and that is why I try to avoid it altogether. There should, after all, be a difference between a person who is genuinely busy, a person who is selfish, and the person who needs to sort out their priorities.

When I volunteered with Big Brothers Big Sisters in undergrad, I learned that when you are juggling a lot of balls- full course load, two part-time jobs, volunteer commitments, a relationship, extracurricular activities, etc.- it is impossible to keep all those balls in the air all the time. Sometimes you drop a ball and you just make sure you pick it up as soon as you can. And there are other balls that you know you can never drop, and you make sure you never do. For me in undergrad, that was my Little Sister.

I made a commitment to spend time with Catherine for about three hours each week and after a year of consistently delivering on that commitment, we had developed a close and trusting relationship. It would have been completely inappropriate in that situation to say, “OK our friendship is really important to me, but I have exams now so see you later,” – because actions speak a lot louder than words.

How can a relationship be important to me if I check out and make myself unavailable? Instead, to balance my interest in academic performance with a relationship that was important to me, I found ways to accommodate both commitments in my schedule. Maybe I can’t hang out all of Saturday afternoon, but I can take you out for ice-cream. Maybe I can’t see you in person today, but how about a phone call? And let’s plan to do something really special after exams…Etcetera.

Obviously there are physical limits to what any one person can do and it is often necessary to say no to things. What I think is important, is knowing what you are saying no to, and why you are saying no. No one I know spends 12 hours a day studying, even during finals. Today for example, I took time out to write this blog post and go to the gym. If someone tells me they’re too busy to spend time with me and it’s a one-off thing, I won’t mind, but if it happens repeatedly, I start hearing “I’m not important” instead of “I’m too busy.”

One thing that I’m trying to do to manage my relationships during this busy time is to articulate why I can’t make myself available instead of just saying “I’m too busy.” When I explain to people that I’m feeling very overwhelmed (instead of just saying that I’m too busy), I provide more specific information about what I’m struggling with, which keeps people involved in the relationship, whereas the ‘busy’ card shuts people out. In addition, forcing myself to articulate my feelings in each circumstance helps me to check in on my reasons for being unavailable.

Another strategy I’m using is to try and make alternative arrangements with people each time I say no to something that is suggested- (no, I can’t do dinner tonight, but let’s go to the gym tomorrow morning?)- because offering to reschedule let’s people know they are still important to me.

I may be a busy law student, but I chose to pursue this career path and I have to take responsibility for my choices. That is why I am making an effort to be as conscious about the choices I make with my relationships as I am about the choices I make to study and work hard in school.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life Lessons to Remember

In the spirit of never making the same mistake twice, here are some practical life lessons I’ve learned so far:

Life Lesson Number One: 

Always use the handicap stall in public washrooms when travelling with luggage. This morning I squeezed into a regular-sized stall with a backpack, large carry on, and a suitcase, because I usually leave the larger stall available for someone who really needs it. Today, I learned that sometimes I am that person who really needs it. First of all, I practically had to build a fort to get settled down and shut the door. Then, after I had finished my business, I found myself trapped because bathroom stall doors open inward. I wouldn’t want it to happen to anyone else. If it does happen to you, getting out requires a lot of core strength and problem-solving skills.

Life Lesson Number Two: 

Time doesn’t heal all wounds. Once I stuffed all my hurt feelings in a box labelled ‘Deal With Never,’ and thought, ‘OK, Great! Time heals everything! When I open that box in two weeks, those hurt feelings will be gone.” Those hurt feelings didn’t go away. They stayed there and festered. That kind of toxic energy kills guinea pigs.

Life Lesson Number Three: 

Bring your tupperware. You never know when there’s going to be a free lunch and you’ll want to take full advantage of leftovers.

Life Lesson Number Four:

Don’t copy other people at the gym! I saw this woman whipping dumbbells around like nunchucks and I thought, “great, total body workout!” No. My shoulder hurt for two weeks!

Perfect Gazpacho

I first discovered gazpacho at a restaurant in California called Shame On The Moon. I had never had cold soup and I thought the gazpacho was incredibly refreshing and delicious. After that, I tried to make my own gazpacho and failed miserably with three different recipes. I had some pretty good gazpacho again in Paris, and the following year, I finally found a recipe for perfect gazpacho.

I make gazpacho exactly once a year when tomatoes are in season, partly because gazpacho benefits from really fresh ingredients, and partly because it’s a lot of work for what is essentially liquified salad.

To make the gazpacho, start with about 9 to 11 ripe tomatoes. Don’t store the tomatoes in the fridge when you bring them into the house, because it detracts from their flavour. Make a tiny ‘x’ like incision on the bottom of each tomato, put them all in a big pot together, and pour boiling water over top. You only want to leave the tomatoes in the boiling water for about thirty seconds- just enough time for the skin to start peeling away. When the skin peels away, pour the boiling water out of the pot and douse the tomatoes with cold water to stop them from cooking. Peel and seed the tomatoes and put them in a food processor.

Peel, seed and roughly chop a cucumber. Add that to the food processor.

Pour cold water over two slices of white bread, and leave them to soak for five minutes before adding the bread and the water to the food processor.

Chop up a red pepper and put it in the food processor with two chopped cloves of garlic and a chopped up jalepeno. Add two tablespoons or olive oil, the juice of one lemon, the juice of one lime, two cups of cold water, and a few drops of tabasco sauce. Blend until well combined, but still chunky. Chill the soup for at least two hours.

(One problem I always have when I make gazpacho is that I can’t fit everything into the blender at once).

To make croutons, rub two slices of white bread with a garlic clove, remove the crusts and cube the bread. Throw the cubes into a ziploc bag with a dash of olive oil, shake until the bread is coated, then cook the bread over medium heat in a frying pan until it is golden-brown.

Make avocado salsa to put on top of the gazpacho by chopping up an avacado and mixing it with either lemon juice or lime juice to prevent it from browning. Add a chopped red chili pepper for some spice.

Pour the soup over ice into glass serving bowls and top with salsa, croutons, and cilantro or basil.

Bon appétit!

Mmmmm…..Mussels!

Last night, I decided to try cooking mussels. Overall, I was impressed! Mussels take less time to cook than a box of Kraft Dinner, taste better, and are a lot healthier. Here is what I did:

Mussels must be cooked alive because they deteriorate quickly after dying. To be sure the mussels are alive, it is important to make sure they close before cooking. Apparently mussels like to open up if you leave them alone for too long, because when I took mine out of the fridge, they were all opened. I invited my friend Michaela over for dinner and I put her in charge of mussel-closing duty while I made the broth and pasta. Some of the mussels needed a little extra coaxing before they would close, but after Michaela tapped them against the kitchen counter a few times, all of them did.

To make the broth, I cooked a chopped onion in olive oil with minced fresh garlic and half a teaspoon of crushed saffron. Then I added three tablespoons of tomato paste and one and a half tablespoons of whipping cream. I stirred that together and poured in an 8oz container of clam juice to add volume. Once that had boiled, it was time to add the mussels!

Some of the mussels had opened up again by the time I was adding them to the broth, but they seem to close more quickly on the second or third reminder. It took the mussels just over five minutes to open up when I cooked them in the broth with the lid on. Mussels are done when all the shells have opened.

I served the mussels with the broth over the rice noodles. I thought they tasted delicious and Michaela thought they would have been quite good, if she actually liked mussels. I feel badly that I destroyed the pasta because I think she liked the pasta a lot better. I forgot to add oil to the pot and the noodles sort of stuck together.

Here are some fun facts about mussels:

1) Mussels are good for your libido

2) Mussels contain more iron and B12 than beef

3) Mussels can live to be 50 years old in the wild

4) Mussels have beards

Here is a video clip from Alice in Wonderland. It is actually a story about oysters, but oysters are very similar to mussels.

Thanks for reading!

Stratford Festival, 2013

Big Brothers Big Sisters is a mentoring program that matches children with adult volunteers. I became involved with the program as a ‘Big Sister’ five years ago. The program is so much fun! I spent time with my Little Sister nearly every week for three years, but eventually moved away for school.

My Little Sister and I became friends and have kept in touch. Since we don’t see each other as often, we try to make our time together especially memorable. This summer we saw Fiddler on the Roof at the Stratford Festival Theatre, and I am already thinking of fun things we can do together next summer. I know we’d both like to try horseback riding.

There are so many great kids waiting to be matched through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program, and I strongly encourage anyone who may be interested to get involved.

Running Outdoors

I am a huge fan of running outdoors. I love the changing scenery, to start. I was really surprised to discover that my feelings are not shared by everybody. Some people actually prefer running at the gym, on a treadmill. One of the biggest objections I have heard to running outside is that people can see you.

When I first started running, I lived in a rural area and I ran on a heavily wooded trail that afforded lots of privacy. Now I live in a tourist area and I run along the waterfront where I frequently contend with ice-cream eating tourists, mallard ducks, the occasional gopher, and Canadian geese. In the morning I run through market square and in the evening I run past crowded festivals, bars, and patios.

I don’t really mind that people can see me.

A few days ago I was very excited to go for a morning run. I managed to run all the way down to the waterfront, (which I can see from my house). Having made it that far, I stopped to admire how beautiful and calm the water is first thing in the morning. When I heard someone approaching behind me, I took off at a very light jog, which lasted for a total of  ten seconds, before I stopped to admire a very large spider. When I made it to the marina, I decided to slow down because I like looking at the sailboats. Once past the marina, I sat down on a rock because I wanted to get a closer look at some ducklings.

It was around the time I got up from looking at the ducklings that I noticed I was  wearing my Asics and no make up, sporting last night’s ponytail. This attire would have been fine if I was actually running. Sitting there on the rock, in public, I probably looked a little silly. Fortunately for me, this was a morning run. While I might have felt uncomfortable or judged in the evening, at seven o’clock in the morning, I somehow felt perfectly fine.

One of the best things about running (or walking, or sitting) outside in the morning, is that there seems to be a sense of camaraderie among morning people. It’s as if just by being up at a certain time in the morning, you somehow belong to this exclusive club of other people who are also up at the same time. While I jogged back to my apartment, all the other runners I encountered, (who were all running, and who had real abs), smiled at me and said good morning. Like I was one of them! I belonged and I had hardly broken a sweat!

When I nearly made it home, I stopped at Starbucks and ordered a tall Americano. It didn’t give me the amount of energy I had hoped for, so I went back to bed after showering and drinking it.

Running in the evening is a lot different from running in the morning. First of all, I feel like I stand out a lot more in the evening. There are a lot more people outside, most of them aren’t runners, and a lot of them are dressed up. I definitely respond to the pressure by doing a lot more running in the evening than I do in the morning. Sometimes, though, I decide to take a break.

Most people on the streets are really nice to me when I am actually running. They smile and say ‘hi’, and move out of my way. I’ve noticed that when I’m sitting on a rock in my sweaty gym clothes, I’m much more likely to attract negative attention. When I feel someone staring at me- and it’s usually a woman, and she’s usually eating ice-cream- I glance over at her, let my gaze fall to her ice cream, stare at it for a full second, glance back up, meet her eyes, and raise my eyebrows halfway. This sounds silly, but the entire gesture obviously takes place much more quickly. I think there might be a smile in there somewhere too.

The usual result is that the person who was judging me a second ago, suddenly feels a lot more self-conscious about her own ice-cream eating habits, and doesn’t care what I do anymore. Of course, it’s not very nice for me to do this to people- especially when it’s garbage day the next morning, and I know that I am solely responsible for consuming the entire contents all six cartons of Haagen-Dazs in the recycling bin- but I guess the only reason we hurt other people is to mask our own insecurities.